Love and Stuff

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Anytime I write a song, my inspiration is usually heartbreak.  It almost seems as though I can’t write about anything else when it comes to my music; or could it be that-that’s all I can write about because that’s all I have known?

When I started working on my newest song, I wanted so badly to have something good to say, but if I did, my lyrics wouldn’t be true and I’m all about writing my life experiences.  I’m not trying to sound like a downer, because I’m not, but it seriously gets to the point where I start to wonder if something like love and stuff even exist for me.  I mean, I know it exist in the world because I see people around me who share it– I guess you can say that those peoples happiness are the ones who are giving me hope.

See, up until recently, I thought a good relationship between two people was one where you weren’t being hit or cussed at.  With that being said, my standards were never high and so I never really knew how I should have been treated and what I was worthy of.

It’s been 2 years since my last relationship, and since then I’ve gone on dates here and there, but nothing ever happened with them. There was only one I knew I could have had feelings for, but needless to say, that didn’t work out.  Its almost as if I’m apprehensive to meet new people and get to know them – its like I’m afraid because after each and every person there hasn’t been the best of stories…I feel like in someone way or another my feelings have been hurt and I hate repeating the process.  Its like each time is a reminder of how some people can think so little of respecting you, and that kind of makes you feel like less of a person.  Its because of that I feel its almost better being by myself sometimes. On more of a positive note, at times I do feel like there is “that” person(s) for everyone.  Whatever the reason is for not meeting mine, I’m sure it’s a good one. 

Nevertheless, I really do hope someday I get to know the feeling of being loved for the right reasons and have the opportunity to write about it.

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